Phone is not that Boring!
by LittleStories
Summary: What if Hiei found the power of the phone? Kurama leaves Hiei alone at his house where Hiei eats SWEET SNOW, uses the PHONE plus sets s2pid and corny pranks to people. Now Kurama has to deal with a looooooong phone bill.
1. Default Chapter

A.L.L.E.N. production presents  
  
An A.L.L.E.N. classic  
  
Written By: Yukina-kun  
  
Staring: Hiei Jaganshi and another girl he meets however I still do not  
have a name  
  
With guest stars: Ice Cream and Telephone  
  
We bring you......  
  
(drum roll)  
  
drundrundrundrundrundrundrundrundrun  
drundrundrundrundrundrundrun  
drundrundrundrundrun  
drundrundrundrun  
drundrundrun  
drundrun  
drun  
  
Ting!  
  
Phone is not that boring! 


	2. Why does Hiei and Ice cream have to be a...

Phone is not that Boring By Yukina-kun  
  
Yukina-kun: Yeah, I know that kun is masculine(as one of the reviewers said) but it sounds so CUTE! I mean, rather than using chan, I'd use kun! ^_^ And yes, I'm 100% girl.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Why does ice cream and Hiei have to be alone?  
  
"Hiei, hand me those carrots." Shiori said. Hiei tossed the carrots to her. "Thanks Hiei." she said as she chopped the carrots and placed it in the pan and started frying it along with broccoli.  
  
"Hiei? Can you call Suuichi? You can shout up to him if you want." Shiori said.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said. He was sitting in the table however he also decided to stand up and go to Kurama's room instead. Grudgingly, he walked up the stairs. He knocked on Kurama's door.  
  
"Yes?" Kurama said as he poked his head out.  
  
"Shiori wants to talk to you." Hiei said, his hands still in his pockets using his head to point downstairs.  
  
"Tell her I'm coming." Kurama said. Hiei hned  
  
Hiei went down the stairs and saw Shiori running around frantically.  
  
"Hiei, did you see m wallet?" she asked.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said pointing to the table. There lay Shiori's wallet.  
  
"Oh thank you Hiei!" she said as she took the wallet and placed her jacket over her. Hiei watched all this.  
  
"Hon'?" came a voice. A man pepped from the doorway. "Are you coming?" he asked.  
  
"Yes dear, I'm coming." she said as she took the keys and it jingled as she placed it in one of her jacket's pockets.  
  
"Mom? We have to go now." Kurama said gently as he went down the stairs.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said as he sat in the dinner table and decided that he should look at the newspaper.  
  
"Yes honey." she said as she placed the her medicine in another of her pockets. "Close the lights dear!" she said referring to Kurama. "I mean, turn off the unnecessary lights and tell your friend to turn the lights off when he leaves!" she said as she went out of the door.  
  
Hn, If it wasn't for this bad snowstorm, I would have left already, in fact, I would not be here. Hiei said.  
  
Hiei watched as Kurama went from room to room looking for unnecessary lights. When done...  
  
"Hiei, sorry we had to leave you here alone." Kurama said as he was jogging in his place as if in a hurry. Ok, so he was in a hurry.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said.  
  
"We just have this reunion with mother's family and our grandmother is there and it might hurt her if we don't go." Kurama explained, still jogging.  
  
"Hn. Go ahead Kurama. I can stay here." Hiei said.  
  
"Um, if there's something bad that happened, use the phone ok?" Kurama said. Hiei raised an eyebrow.  
  
"A what?" Hiei said.  
  
"Suuichi! Hurry up!" Shiori called.  
  
"Coming kaasan!" Kurama called. Then he ran to the phone that was near them. He took the cordless phone with him and showed it to Hiei. "This is a phone Hiei." Kurama said.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said eying the thing with interest.  
  
"See the numbers?" Kurama said pointing to the numbers, "You have to dial the numbers. When you dial the numbers you will hear a ringing sound. Wait till someone answers the phone."  
  
"Hn." Hiei said his eyes darting to the newspaper.  
  
"Hiei! Listen!" Kurama said. When Hiei listened, "Ok, remember, when you want to talk to somebody, you say, 'Hello, good morning or afternoon or evening' then say 'May I please talk to Suuichi or Shiori or whoever' gets?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said. "Why use the phone? I could just telepath you." Hiei said.  
  
"I know." Kurama said, "But just to be sure ok?" Kurama said.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said.  
  
"Suuichi!" Shiori called.  
  
"Yes kaasan!" Kurama said.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok Hiei, there is food in the table" Kurama said, "And then here is my mom's number and under it is my number in my cellphone and don't forget to dial 02 before it, you can call as much as you want and don't forget to turn off the lights when you leave and..."  
  
"Kurama." Hiei said.  
  
"What?" Kurama said.  
  
"I'm not a kid." he said.  
  
"Oh yeah." he said.  
  
"Is there food in the box there?" he asked pointing to the refrigerator.  
  
"Yeah. It does. Get there if you want to. Yusuke will be coming over to get the test paper I made for him. Ok Hiei?" Kurama said absentmindedly.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok, bye Hiei!" Kurama said.  
  
"Hn."  
  
***At Kurama's car***  
  
I'm so stupid. Kurama thought, what made me think that Hiei will say 'hello good morning?' Oh well... that's life. As if Hiei likes the phone. He'll probably prefer to disintegrate the house which I hope he won't.  
  
"Suuichi?" Kurama's stepfather said.  
  
"Did you bring the ice cream?" he asked.  
  
"Ice Cream?" Kurama said.  
  
"Oh no. He left it! Mother wanted ice cream." Shiori said.  
  
"Sorry kaasan." Kurama said meekly.  
  
"It's ok Suuichi. We can buy on the way." Shiori said from the front.  
  
Silence...  
  
"Um mom?" Kurama said.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Where was the ice cream placed?" he asked.  
  
"Where else Suuichi?" Kurama's father said. "It is in the freezer. Your brother is already in Shiori's mother's house..."  
  
Kurama couldn't talk.  
  
Couldn't move.  
  
Freezer? Ice Cream in the Freezer?  
  
Hiei? Hiei all alone in the house?  
  
Ice Cream?  
  
Hiei?  
  
I told Hiei he could eat all he wants from the freezer?  
  
Ice Cream? Hiei? Ice Cream in Hiei's mouth?  
  
Oh no!!! Sugar Fiasco!  
  
Kurama groaned.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::  
  
Chapter 1 done! Hope you like it!  
  
Alexis: R.R.A.R.P. all!  
  
Hiei: R.R.A.R.P.?  
  
Alexis: Duh! As in Rest, Read, and Review Please! 


	3. Hiei's very first PHONE CALL! Will he do...

Now for a little Author's Note:  
  
Yukina-kun: Thank you all so much for your reviews! I just started this story yesterday and then sniff six reviews in one go! I love you guys! sniff  
  
Yukina-kun sits in a corner thinking how happy she is...  
  
Chapter 2: Hiei's very first phone call! Will he do it again? Or is he too angry?  
  
Hiei looked around. He could hear the sound of the snowstorm outside.  
  
And to think Yusuke will be coming over. he thought. How can ningens stay to such a place as this? It is a confinement. They call this a home and yet it's so crowded? Hm... I wonder what that black box over there is?  
  
Hiei walked to the black box that had weird silver stuff that looked like antenna's sticking out of it. In the front was a dark screen and Hiei could see his reflection. He looked for the opening of the box. (The black box is not the ref. On the contrary, it is called a television. TV to be exact)  
  
All he found was some weird things that turned out to be screws.  
  
Hiei looked confused until he suddenly remembered seeing some weird sort of contraption in Kurama's room. What was it called again? Oh yeah, a screwdriver. Hiei thought. Within seconds, he was back with the screwdriver in his hands. There was something like a mad glint in his eyes.  
  
The snowstorm howled louder outside.  
  
Insert song...  
  
Opera singers hired: AAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAoaoaoAAAAAAAoaoaoAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaoa oaoaoaoaoa! AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAoaoaoaoAAAAAAAAAoaoaoaAAAAAAAAA  
  
Drums: dundundundundun  
dundundun  
dundun  
dun dundundun  
dundund dundun  
  
Opera Singers:AAAAAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
  
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaoaoaAAAAAAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaoaoaAAAAAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAAoaoaAAAAAAAAAAAoaoa  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA  
  
Slowly Hiei began to unscrew one screw, slowly, as if savoring the moment.  
  
Opera Singers: eeeeeeyowyowyowyowYOOOOOOwwwwwwwww......  
  
Violin: Tuuuuuun tunnn tuntuntuntun tuuuuuuuunnnn  
  
tunnnn tun TUN tun TUN tun TUN tun TUN tunnnnn......  
  
Bongo Drums: Dum dum duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......  
  
Screw number one out. Hiei slowly started to take out another. The mad glint in his eyes. Slowly taking out screw after screw...  
  
Slowly...  
  
Steadily...  
  
Drums: DUN DUN DUN  
  
DUN DUN  
  
DUN  
  
dun DUN  
  
DUNDUNDUNDUN  
  
DUN...  
  
DUn...  
  
Dun...  
  
dun...  
  
"Hiei! What are you doing with the TV?" Yusuke cried when he saw Hiei unscrewing the screws, "And why is the TV on to an opera channel? I didn't know you liked opera Hiei."  
  
Hiei raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Why are there people in the TV?" Hiei asked.  
  
"They are just images Hiei." Yusuke said as he was watching a favorite show.  
  
"Why don't they bring swords?" Hiei asked, "Why are they still hiding to get the bad person? If they brought a sword they would have taken out the tires and..."  
  
Yusuke looked at Hiei who was sitting with him in the couch. He grinned at Hiei's mean way of dealing with things.  
  
"Don't do that you moron!" Hiei said as he watched the good guy try to escape from the bad guy by punching him, "You won't be able to hit him that way! That's too weak! Hey! Why did that guy cower? That punch was not even strong! It didn't even hit him! Yusuke!" Hiei said turning to a now very amused Yusuke, "Yusuke! That punch was not hitting him! Or is it possible that that guy must have created a wind energy force to knock the other guy out... However, that wasn't even strong enough to create a wind blow as Jin would have done..."  
  
"They're acting Hiei." Yusuke said, his eyes grinning with amusement.  
  
"Acting?" Hiei said.  
  
"Yes Hiei." Yusuke said as he looked at the fridge, "Hiei, do you know that you looked cute awhile ago while you were screaming at the guy?"  
  
"Yusuke, not one word to anyone..."  
  
"Ok! Ok!" Yusuke said as Hiei appeared at his back with his sword in Yusuke's neck.  
  
Hiei looked at the freezer. There was a confused look in his eyes.  
  
"This is a refrigerator Hiei," Yusuke explained as he took a handful of junk foods out, "The one up there is a freezer. The refrigerator preserves foods."  
  
Hiei looked at the opened the freezer and saw meat. However, what caught his attention was a certain box.  
  
"What's this?" Hiei said as he held out the ice cream box to Yusuke and then closed the fridge.  
  
"Ice Cream." Yusuke said.  
  
Hiei opened it and saw a pink colored snow. "Snow?" Hiei said as he poked it. Yusuke was drinking something in a can.  
  
Then Hiei placed his finger in his mouth. Immediately, he felt a strange joy sensation. "Sweet! Sweet Snow!" he said as he began scooping sweet snow.  
  
"Ah! Beer!" Yusuke said, "Root Beer!  
  
In a few minutes, Yusuke and Hiei were sitting in the dining table, their feet in the table, their tummies stuffed.  
  
"Sweet snow..." Hiei said with satisfaction.  
  
"Ah, no wonder mother likes these stuff." Yusuke said as he patted his stomach then burped.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said looking sadly at the now empty sweet snow box.  
  
"What do you want to do now Hiei?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Sweet Snow..." Hiei said sadly.  
  
"Call the phone?" Yusuke said as he misunderstood what Hiei just said, "Hey Hiei! Nice Idea!"  
  
"Sweet Snow..." Hiei said as he sighed deeply.  
  
"Yes! Yes! The phone!" Yusuke said excitedly. He jumped out off the chair and dragged Hiei with him to the nearest phone.  
  
"Sweet snow..." Hiei sighed.  
  
"Welcome to the phone Hiei." Yusuke said.  
  
"I want sweet snow..." Hiei said.  
  
"No Hiei, this is better." Yusuke said as he started explaining how to use the phone.  
  
"Sweet Snow..." Hiei said, his eyes welling up with tears.  
  
"Ok Hiei, we'll get your sweet snow." Yusuke said, "We'll call the ice cream company then after, well, I don't know, we'll play with the phone..."  
  
"Sweet Snow..." Hiei said as he started licking the phone.  
  
"No Hiei!" Yusuke said as he pushed Hiei away from the phone. "Never mind, just call the ice cream guy."  
  
"Sweet Snow?" Hiei said hopefully.  
  
"Yes, yes..." Yusuke said as he dialed the numbers. "Here Hiei. Call them."  
  
"Sweet snow..." Hiei said with the phone in his ears waiting for someone to answer it.  
  
"Sweet Snow?" Hiei said as someone started answering it.  
  
"Hello good afternoon, may I please take your order?" came a bored voice.  
  
Slowly, the effect of the sweet snow was wearing off.  
  
"Sweet- hn?" Hiei said as he was attempting to say Sweet Snow and Hn.  
  
"Sir?" came the man's voice.  
  
Hiei looked at the telephone with fear in his eyes. There was someone talking in there! He looked around and saw Yusuke's back and then looking at the TV. He was still in the dreamland-feeling caused by the sweet snow however his normal mind was starting to come back.  
  
"I would like the best kind of sweet snow you have in there." Hiei said in his most babyish voice.  
  
Yusuke whipped around. Was he dreaming it or did a little ickle cutie baby just talk?  
  
"Are you a kid?" said the man from the phone, "Listen, my manager told me that kids can never be trusted. Call your mommy and then we'll find out what we'll do with you."  
  
"Are you defying my- but- but- sniff my daddy twold me that I buy sweet snow... hic hic..." Hiei said. At first, the ice cream effect came off however in a few seconds, it came back and it gave Hiei the ickle-cutie- baby-Hiei attitude.  
  
Yusuke rubbed his eyes. His mind was racing on certain possibilities. Was I dreaming or Hiei is holding the phone like a five year old and talking with the cutest voice ever conjured? Yusuke thought. Nope, not dreaming...  
  
The man in the ice cream store slammed the phone down on Hiei. Hiei looked at Yusuke with his little cutie eyes that were round with tears and sniveling. "He-he-"Hiei said to Yusuke, "He brought the phone down on me!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!" Hiei said as he ran to Yusuke and hugging him.  
  
"Um, Hiei? Are you ok?" Yusuke said surprised at the attitude that Hiei gave him, "Um, cause the mental hospital is not far from here..."  
  
"Waaaaaaaa!!!! The guy on the phone swammed (slammed) the phone down on me!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaa!" Hiei cried as rivers of tears shot out from his eyes. (Note: He's still hugging Yusuke just like any five-year old kiddie would do.)  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yup, Hiei.  
  
"Will you just quit it Hiei!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
Hiei looked up at Yusuke with his eyes oh so full of tears. "Y-you mad a-at m-m-me?" Hiei said as tiny droplets of tears shot out from the sides of his eyes.  
  
"Uh, well..." Yusuke said. Then he decided to play a little joke on Hiei. "Uuuuh..." Yusuke said in a calming voice. "Don't cry now Hiei. Don't worry, we'll fix this thing..." Yusuke said as he held Hiei's head to his chest. (This is no yaoi. I promised myself never to place any yaoi or R- rated stuff.)  
  
"Wreally? (really)" Hiei said with his little special cute little voice. (Bwahahaha! Tell me if any Yu Yu Hakushu character can defeat the cuteness of Hiei!)  
  
"Yes, yes, yes..." Yusuke said as he continued patting Hiei on the head.  
  
"Y-you not angwy?" Hiei said as he looked up at Yusuke and wiping he was wiping his tears away. Yusuke nodded.  
  
"Dwo I get Snowy? (Hiei's baby word for ice cream)" Hiei asked, his fingers twiddling at his back. He was looking at Yusuke with his adowable little eyes. I mean, who could refuse a little kid standing in front of you and his eyes getting rounder and rounder every minute? Weeeell, maybe you could but Yusuke can't.  
  
"Yes, yes..." Yusuke said absentmindedly trying to look for a camera. Hiei was jumping around happily like a maniac.  
  
"Ta ta tu ta ti ta tu ta lalalalaaaaaaaaa!!!!" Hiei kept singing, "Swowy! Swowy! I get Swoooooowy!!!!! Ta ta ti ta tu ta ti ta tiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
This time, Yusuke wanted to get a video camera more than get the camera.  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Wes? (Yes)" Hiei said as he stopped singing but still jumping around.  
  
"Do you want to get famous?" Yusuke said as he held out the video camera.  
  
"Weheeey! (Yehey!)" Hiei squealed.  
  
After a few cwwwuuuuuuuute little poses from Hiei, Yusuke had an idea.  
  
"Hiei? Why don't you demonstrate to us how to use the phone?" Yusuke said as he pepped from behind the camera.  
  
"I'm scwareed... (scared)" Hiei said as he looked at the phone.  
  
"Don't worry Hiei. Just dial up any certain seven numbers and your guaranteed to have a call." Yusuke said.  
  
"Owkie!" Hiei said as he saluted army cute baby position.  
  
Before Hiei started dialing the numbers...  
  
"And here we have before you... Hiei Jaganshi, the fire apparation- turned-little-kiddie. Kuwabara, this is mainly for you." Yusuke whispered to the camera. "Kurama? I know Hiei's your friend and this video cam is yours but what can I do? The temptation to video this brand new Hiei has covered my logical side."  
  
"Wone... Two... Twreee... Fwour... Fwive... Swix... SWEVEN!" Hiei said as he randomly pressed seven numbers. "Wusuke! Wusuke! (yusuke) I did it! I dwialed the numbers!"  
  
"Good Hiei!" Yusuke cheered, the camera still facing Hiei.  
  
"Hello? Who is this?" came a sweet girl but old voice from the other side of the phone.  
  
"Dwaddy!" Hiei said to the person talking to the other side of the phone.  
  
"Who is this?!" shouted the old girl, "How dare you call me a daddy?! My husband left me forever and you come to remind me! Never call me again!"  
  
"Owkay." Hiei said innocently before the old woman jammed the phone down.  
  
Hiei was close to tears.  
  
"Hiei, tell the next person in the line that you love that person." Yusuke said.  
  
"Owkay." Hiei said and dialed again. This time, he dialed more than seven numbers.  
  
"This is the President of the United States speaking." came the voice of the president, "Who are you and what do you want?"  
  
"I..." Hiei said.  
  
"You..."  
  
"I..."  
  
"You..."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Get straight to the point!"  
  
"Owkai!"  
  
"What? I'm in a very important business in here!"  
  
"I woooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee you!" came Hiei's cuddly voice.  
  
That caught the President's attention.  
  
Not in a negative way.  
  
In truth to be told, it caught the president in a...  
  
positive way...  
  
"Johnson, is that you?" came the urgent voice of the president.  
  
"Weeeheeey! I get to be Jowhnson!" Hiei sang.  
  
"Johnson, how is the spying there? Is there going to be a terrorist attack? Is there going to be a major explosion as the people have hypothesized here?" the president said.  
  
"General!!!!" Hiei said.  
  
"You want to talk to my sergeant-at-arms?" the president said.  
  
"Weheeey!" Hiei said.  
  
"Hello?" came another voice. The sergeant-at-arms.  
  
"H-Hewooo?" Hiei said a little shy.  
  
"What do we do? Where do I position my army?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Arrwmy?" Hiei said confused. The minute Hiei said that, Yusuke shouted.  
  
"Ow! Ow! That's the twentieth time the ant bit me in the leg and the fifteenth time in my arms!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"Uwm... 20? 15?" Hiei said uncertainly.  
  
"Hmmm, longitude and latitude, aye?" the sergeant-at-arms said. In a few minutes... "We await your fire signal Johnson."  
  
"Owkai." Hiei said.  
  
Yusuke was heating the warmer stove thing while his camera was focused on Hiei. His shirt got caught in some of the fire.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Yusuke screamed. "Fire! Fire! Fire! Ow! Ow! Fire! Fire! FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Fire?" Hiei said innocently.  
  
"Fire?" came the sergeant at arms guy. "Ok, men. FIRE AT WILL!!!"  
  
"Um Hiei, who are you talking to?" Yusuke asked as he went to Hiei, his shirt burnt to crisp.  
  
"Amewica! Amewica!" Hiei squealed.  
  
"We have to catch a man named America?" the sergeant-at-arms said, "Ok, on our way!"  
  
"Um, who are you really talking to?" Yusuke said doubtfully.  
  
"Oh Yusuke!" Hiei said, "You won't bewieve who I twalked to! I twalked to the Pwesident of the Uwinted Swates!" Hiei said, "Thwen, I twalked to the sweargent-at-arwms and thwen I owdered a arwmy to attack and thwen I twold thwem to catch a man nwamed Amewika!" Hiei said proudly.  
  
"You what?" Yusuke said as he scuffled to get the phone from Hiei.  
  
The sergeant-at-arms heard the scuffle.  
  
"Johnson, Johnson! Are you ok?" the sergeant-at-arms said.  
  
BAM! The phone hit the floor.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Yusuke shouted as Hiei scratched at him obviously angry.  
  
Beeeeeeeeeeeeppp....  
  
The line was dead.  
  
"Nooo...." the president said, "We have lost Johnson... He was a great man however, we all have to deal with times like these."  
  
Everyone in the whole wide world who knew of Johnson's bravery, bowed their heads low in complete memory.  
  
And the reeeeeaaaaaall Johnson? He's stuck in the Amazon Forest, found a pretty girl and stayed there.  
  
"Fine!" Yusuke said as he rubbed his head, "You can call one last time.  
  
"Yehweyyy!" Hiei said as he jumped to the phone and started dialing one last time. This time, he remembered to be polite.  
  
"Hewwo! Gwwoood Mowning! Cwan I pwease twalk to anyone?" Hiei asked innocently with his aaaaahhh! Adorable little voice.  
  
"Hiei?" came the uncertain voice of...  
  
Kurama.  
  
"Hewoooo? Are thwere any aminals out thwere?" Hiei said.  
  
"Hiei, is that you?" came Kurama's uncertain voice.  
  
Suddenly, Hiei's ice cream dream-like effect...  
  
Wore...  
  
Off...  
  
Hiei slammed the phone down and noticed Yusuke and the camera.  
  
"Uh-oh..." Yusuke said.  
  
"Oh your so dead detective..." Hiei said as he unsheathed his sword.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::  
  
I am so mean to Hiei! Oh man... Hope you all like this twisted ending for this chapter! I tried to make it funny! I weally twied!!! (fakes tears) sniff sniff 


	4. Hiei plucks his courage!

Another Author's note:  
  
Yukina-kun: That was sooo sweet. I got fourteen reviews and I was just in chapter three! Thanks soo much guys. I'm going to see your stories as long as it's got Hiei in it! Thank you! Thank you  
  
Yukina-kun watched Jakie Chan yesterday. Rush Hour 2.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Can you..."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Stop saying hn?"  
  
"hn."  
  
"Okay..." Yusuke said.  
  
"hn."  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Can you..."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Untie me?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Is that a yes?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Noooo..."  
  
They were still in Kurama's house and the phone was ringing every five seconds. Hiei answered the phone just a few minutes ago and it was Kurama who asked if Hiei let a little kid inside the house.  
  
Well, Hiei slammed the phone...  
  
Nearly broke the camera...  
  
And nearly killed Yusuke...  
  
If Yusuke hadn't blackmailed him about the phone incident...  
  
So now Yusuke is up in the ceiling tied by his feet and below him was Hiei's shiny and pointy sword.  
  
"You can't do this to me Hiei! I'm a detective! Your just a tiny fire demon!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
The sword edged closer.  
  
"Hey, what did I say?" Yusuke said.  
  
The sword edged nearer.  
  
"Ok, I'll keep quiet." Yusuke said. Hiei rolled his eyes and sat by the couch and turned on the TV. It was a bit blurry because of Hiei loosing the screws awhile ago.  
  
Hiei was watching a show where the good guy was being beaten up.  
  
"Don't do that you moron! Dodge! Doge! No! That was your fault! You didn't dodge! No, don't do that! Stop! Ahhh! See? Look what happened. Stop yabbering! Stand up! No! Look! Behind You! AARGGGG!!!!! Jump! Jump! Jump to that bamboo! Ok, so that was a nice idea but NOOOOO! Don't! Don't! Get the sword! GET THE SWORD! What is it with you? AAAAHHH! No! No! NO! Stop! No! No! Dodge! YES! Dodge again! Again! YES! YES! Now, hit! HIT! Yes! That's it! Go! GO! GO! GO! AAAAAAHHHH! Not again! Stand up! Stand up! Stop with the pictures about your past! He's gonna hit you! Yes that's it! Go on... go on... Go! Stand up! Now! Now! Stop yabbering you idiot!"  
  
"Yeah stop yabbering!" Yusuke said as he sat down beside Hiei and was cheering the good guy on. "No Dodge! DODGE!"  
  
"Dodge you maniac! Dodge!" Hiei shouted. "The sword! The sword!"  
  
"Grab it!" The two said together, "Behind you! Behind you! BEHIND YOU!" they shouted.  
  
"Ooofffff..." Yusuke said, "that's gotta hurt..."  
  
"Hn." Hiei said, "He was a moron. He could have dodged."  
  
"I know..." Yusuke said. "Even Kuwabara could have done that." Yusuke said in a matter-of-factly.  
  
"Hn." Suddenly, his eyes widened, "How did you get here?!" he shouted as he placed his sword back up to Yusuke's neck.  
  
"Hey, hold it with that thing!" Yusuke said, "Hey, how did you get that thing? It was not there awhile ago!"  
  
"You forget my speed." Hiei said, shoving the sword nearer and nearer Yusuke's neck. Yusuke gulped.  
  
The snowstorm outside still hadn't stopped.  
  
"Hiei?" Yusuke said.  
  
"(angry glare)" from Hiei.  
  
"Hiei, it's COLD already!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"(angry glare)"  
  
"At least you could just direct the electric fan AWAY FROM ME!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"Oh, yeah..." Hiei said as he took his sword away from Yusuke's neck and directed the electric fan away from them. Hiei looked at it.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHH!" he shouted.  
  
"What?" Yusuke said.  
  
"What is this thing?" Hiei said directing to the electric fan. Scared to death, he slashed the electric fan when it turned to his direction automatically.  
  
"Hiei! No! What did you do?" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"I slashed the terrible beast." Hiei said proudly as he sheathed his sword. Yusuke looked at the remnants of the electric fan.  
  
"Kurama's going to kill me..." Yusuke muttered.  
  
"Um, Hiei?" Yusuke said.  
  
"Hn?" Hiei said as he was shouting to the electric fan how easily he had defeated it.  
  
"Tell Kurama that I didn't come here." Yusuke said.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Is that a yes?" Yusuke asked. Hiei nodded.  
  
"Yes!" Yusuke said. "I'll be watching TV, ok Hiei?"  
  
"Hn." Hiei said as he slashed the microwave.  
  
"No! Not the microwave!" Yusuke wailed. He dragged Hiei away before Hiei could slash the blender.  
  
"Let me go detective!" Hiei shouted as Yusuke pinned him in his arms. "AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Hiei shouted more.  
  
"Hiei! Stop!" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"If you let me go detective!" Hiei said as he struggled in his arms.  
  
"I will if you stop slashing things!" Yusuke shouted back against the snowstorm howling outside.  
  
"HN!" Hiei said.  
  
"Is that a yes or no?" Yusuke shouted.  
  
"YES!" Hiei shouted and then Yusuke let go of Hiei.  
  
"Ok, we must have a deal." Yusuke said.  
  
"What deal?" Hiei said as he dusted his shirt.  
  
"Stop slashing things." Yusuke said.  
  
"What's there to stop me?" Hiei said, "They are all dangerous things. They must be destroyed."  
  
"No Hiei." Yusuke said, "Nothing is dangerous in this house, k?"  
  
"What about that thing on the ground?" Hiei said pointing to a fluffy bunny slipper.  
  
"It's not." Yusuke said.  
  
"How about those liquidy things on the floor?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Hiei, that was the remnants of your ice cream..." Yusuke said sarcastically.  
  
"I want to stay away from the sweet snow." Hiei said as he backed away behind Yusuke.  
  
"There are only a few things you can touch." Yusuke said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The freezer and lastly...  
  
the phone."  
  
"Are you nuts! I will never touch a single telephrony ever again!" Hiei said.  
  
"Hiei."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What did you call the thing you wanted to stay away from again?  
  
"Telephrony." Hiei said.  
  
Yusuke laughed.  
  
"Can't I stay near the television?" Hiei asked.  
  
"No." Yusuke said.  
  
"Where will I stay?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Here." Yusuke said as he jammed Hiei down to a seat near the phone and in the corridors outside the TV-room.  
  
"No way!" Hiei said as he tried to stand up.  
  
"Hiei! Stay here or else I'll tell everyone about the phone." Yusuke said.  
  
"(angry)" Hiei emoted.  
  
"I need you to stay here or you'll break more house appliances." Yusuke said as he took Hiei's sword. "And I'll take this too."  
  
"Grrrr... You'll get your day detective..." Hiei said.  
  
"Yes I will..." Yusuke said grinning as he left Hiei by the phone and went to the TV room to watch TV.  
  
Hiei looked around. He was scared. Mighty scared. The phone incident increased his adrenaline level and still hasn't gone down.  
  
The phone rang. Hiei jumped a bit.  
  
"Hiei!" Yusuke shouted from the TV room, "Answer the phone!"  
  
"I'm not stupid Yusuke!" Hiei shouted still looking fearfully at the phone.  
  
"I know!" Yusuke shouted, "Hiei! Place in your mind that that phone won't harm you in any way!"  
  
"It won't?" Hiei said.  
  
"Yes, yes..." Yusuke said as he watched TV again.  
  
Hiei was about to answer the phone when the ringing died. "Um Yusuke!"  
  
"That was a prank call!" Yusuke explained.  
  
"Prank call?" Hiei said questioningly.  
  
"Yes. They play pranks using the phone." Yusuke said. "Now quit bugging me cause I wanna watch."  
  
Hiei stared at the phone. I could pull pranks? Hiei thought. I hate so many ningens that I think I must do this to repay them for all their misdeeds. Plus, I wanna prove that ningens are stupid.  
  
"Don't do anything funny, ok, Hiei?" Yusuke shouted from the TV room.  
  
"I won't!" Hiei shouted since the storm outside howled louder.  
  
Now what? Hiei thought. How can I irritate ningens?  
  
(Warning: Hiei is not yet an ultimate prankster)  
  
Hiei dialed seven numbers.  
  
And waited...  
  
And waited...  
  
"The number you dialed is not yet in service." came the voice in the phone.  
  
"Your voice sounds stupid!" Hiei said as he slammed the phone down. He grinned at his accomplishment.  
  
He dialed again...  
  
"Hello, who is this?" came a gruff voice.  
  
"Who are you?" Hiei said.  
  
"Who are you?" came the voice of the guy.  
  
"No one." Hiei said.  
  
"Where do you live?" the guy said angrily at Hiei.  
  
"Somebody..." Hiei.  
  
"WHO DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?!" the guy shouted.  
  
"Nothing.."  
  
"WHO ORDERED YOU TO CALL HERE?" the guy shouted.  
  
"Everybody." Hiei said grinning.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"About..." the guy said.  
  
"No one..."  
  
"That's weird, No One lives with Somebody who wants to talk about Nothing. Then, he was ordered to call by Everybody but Everybody said that Nothing is about No one so that means... I'm Confused..."  
  
Hiei grinned and slammed the phone down.  
  
Yusuke, who was listening, dubbed Hiei as the worst prankster ever conjured.  
  
Hiei dialed another number.  
  
"Hello?" came a voice.  
  
Hiei slammed the phone down.  
  
He dialed another number.  
  
"Who is- "  
  
SLAM!  
  
Hiei slammed the phone down.  
  
"Mom-"  
  
SLAM!  
  
"Good mor- "  
  
SLAM!  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
SLAM!  
  
"Ahhh, that feels good..." Hiei said.  
  
Suddenly the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" came a teen guy's voice (around 14) and from the sound of it, she was very irritated.  
  
"HELLO.. HELLo, HELlo... HEllo... Hello... hello..." Hiei said as he pretended to make echos.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"Who is THIS.. THIs... THis... This... this..." Hiei echoed.  
  
"Your lame." he said.  
  
"LAME... LAMe... LAme... Lame... la- what?" Hiei said, "How dare you call me lame?!"  
  
"LAME... LAMe... LAme... Lame... lame..." the guy echoed back.  
  
"Will you quit it?!" Hiei shouted.  
  
"IT... It... it..." he mimicked and judging from his voice, Hiei could get the fact that he was suppressing a laugh.  
  
"MORON!" Hiei shouted.  
  
"MORON... MOROn... MORon... MOron... Moron... moron..." the guy said, "Ha! You said moron to me only once. I said mine five times."  
  
"Grrrr...."  
  
"It's ok. You need practice. I also need practice."  
  
Hiei slammed the phone down again.  
  
The phone rang again.  
  
"Who is this?" Hiei said irritated.  
  
"Me." said the guy.  
  
"Leave me!" Hiei shouted.  
  
"No."  
  
"LEAVE!"  
  
"You have to say sorry!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Show some respect!" he shouted.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"RRGggg..." he said, "you'll get your day..."  
  
"In your dreams!" Hiei said as he slammed the phone down then unplugged the phone line.  
  
However, that was not the last time he will hear from him again. In fact, Hiei will be sorry that Hiei messed with him.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::  
  
Ok, so it was not that funny, and I twied to make it but the urge to mwake it serious was so strong! I only had TWO Hours to write! And it was hard to place the pieces together! But now, I'm gonna kill Hiei in chapter 4... HAHAHAHA! 


	5. ATR

Phone is not that boring! Answer To Reviews or ATR  
  
LunaML: Ohhhh, sorry, when I meant that I was gonna kill Hiei was a figurative expression. Still, that was a nice plot... No wait! That is gonna help the plot in my story! Yehey! Oh thank you LunaML!  
  
rstu6rs: hehe... hofuoajflkajslfj9093487nlsja; dj'a (  
  
Shadow Wolf: Thank you soo much for loving this fanfic! Oh thank you! Thank you! bows down to her May the force be with you... No, wait maybe I'll review your stories! ya! That's it! I wonder if there is...  
  
Skadi Writer: It has nine? I thought it was seven. I counted my telephone number and it was seven. Hmmm, lemme guess, you're I America? Lucky you. But still, I'm happy I'm born here! ( You were rolling in the floor? Wow... So you fell off your chair first right?  
  
Chapter 3 (which is really chapter 2)  
  
chibified: Oh chibified! You are one of the people I wanna thank! You've been reading most of my stories and reviewing! I thank you!  
  
LunaML: Breathe! Breathe! No! Breathe! You need to breathe if not, who will review me? Lol  
  
Shadow Wolf: sniff thank you... you said my story was awesome... may all your stories be blessed......  
  
Sillyningengirl: I wooooove you! You weviewed me stoweeee! Thwank you!  
  
silverdragonfairy: Yes, yes, of course! I'll keep writing. I have so many story ideas and when I'm done with Love Letter, Phone is not that Boring and You're so VBF as in Very Black Figure, I have lotsa stories to gooooo!  
  
Chapter 2( which is really chapter 1)  
  
abigail: yeah! I'll update! But on your part, review me! Lol!  
  
ShadowWolf2471: thank you! oh thank you! You reviewed my stories since chapter 1!  
  
evilsirenmistress: I hope you read chapter 2 already! Please review so I'll know if I met your standards! Thanks! (  
  
yusukelover13: Oooh, thank you for your review considering that this is a Hiei fic and you are a Yusuke lover. Do you have stories?  
  
Jessica: Oh thank you. You were the first one who placed my name in the fave author thing. TY. And thanks for considering it an awesome chapter!  
  
FireyVixen: hehe. thanks. But I hope you review more so that I can see if you liked it!  
  
LunaML: LunaML Hiei= I'm not going to oblige at that! Lol! 


	6. Reason for Hiei to go in Kurama's house!

Another, another Author's Note:  
  
Yukina-kun-Thank you guys! I was like just in chapter 3 and all in all I have 18 reviews! sniff T-T  
  
Sorry I haven't updated much, I kinda ran out of ideas. Hehe. Soweeee.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"Tell me if I was dreaming but was that you on the phone?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Hn."  
  
Instead of sympathy, "HIEI! HOW COULD YOU? YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE EATING ICE CREAM!"  
  
Hiei gave Kurama a look, "I didn't eat ice cream. I ate sweet snow." Hiei said matter-of-factly.  
  
Kurama sweat dropped.  
  
There was silence...  
  
And more silence...  
  
And still more silence...  
  
With still more silence...  
  
With still more and more silence...  
  
With still more and more and more silence...  
  
With a still more and more and more and more silence that the author decided to skip with this scene and go to the next scene where it would be better than just sitting there and reading the words silence, silence all over again.  
  
Right? Right.  
  
Scene 2  
  
For days, Hiei stayed away from Kurama's house even if he met with Kurama. He also stayed away from telephone booths, cellphones, and stores that sell any sort of the same thing. One time, he did get to slash a cellphone of a very rich and respected businessperson when the cellphone rang. The YYH gang pooled in all their money to pay for the phone since Hiei had gone under hiding under the dining room in Yusuke's house and didn't budge until Kurama reassured that there was no more sort of telephone in the house.  
  
Scene Three  
  
"Hiei! You've got to help me!" Kurama said.  
  
"Hn." Hiei said, arms crossed and not looking at Kurama that meant 'no'.  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama said. Then he quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking and then placed a puppy-dog face on Hiei.  
  
Hiei looked at Kurama, arms still crossed, "What makes you think that that disgusting face will make me go in your house and stay alone with you while your parents are on a honeymoon and your brother is on a camping trip?"  
  
"Please! Please! Please!" Kurama begged willfully trying to make his puppy-dog face cuter and cuter, "Hiei, please! I need someone to help me at home!"  
  
"Help you clean?" Hiei said, "I've seen your brother's room and I can say that I never want to clean that room again."  
  
"Hiei! Please!" Kurama begged making his eyes cuter again. "Please! Please!"  
  
"What do you think of me, a moron?" Hiei said.  
  
"Hiei! I beg of you!" Kurama said as he knelt down in the sidewalk pavement his arm clutching Hiei's shoulder, "Oh mighty and powerful Hiei, help me in my task!"  
  
"I have lived for five hundred years already and you tell me that I don't know how to distinguish flattery and true begging?" Hiei said as he shook his head.  
  
"Please!" Kurama begged.  
  
"I have things to do!" Hiei snapped.  
  
Kurama stopped saying please and instead, as he knelt, he looked at Hiei's eyes forcefully and made his face puppy doggy.  
  
"You've got to be kidding..." Hiei said.  
  
No answer. Kurama looked at Hiei. Soon, Hiei realized that Kurama's were getting rounder and rounder and rounder and rounder and rounder that there was a fear that it would explode.  
  
Hiei gave a sigh, "If we weren't together through many things, I would have allowed those eyes of you to explode."  
  
Kurama's eyes grew a little more rounder.  
  
Hiei uncrossed his arms. "Fine, I'll help." he said. Then he added as an afterthought, "But only because if I didn't, your eyes might have the danger of exploding."  
  
"Yes!" Kurama said, "Thanks Hiei!"  
  
"Baka." Hiei said.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::  
  
This is gonna be short and I feeel so bad. My longest usually is eight or five pages and above. Anyway, I won't do this again. Promise.  
  
Yukina-kun: Girl's Scout Promise. 


	7. Whatever!

Another, another, another, Author's Note:  
  
Yukina-kun: Thank you to all that reviewed! Oh yeah, Kuwabara never knew that Hiei acted out like a kid. All he knew was that Hiei broke the cellphone, got mentally deranged since Hiei was hiding under a table. Apart from that, all he knew he gave his allowance that he had long saved.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"Kurama, what happened here?" Hiei said, "I've cleaned your brother's room before but it never was this messy."  
  
"Yeah, I know." Kurama said, "It's just that you weren't here to fix this so I guess, well, now it's already messy."  
  
Hiei looked at Kurama, "Are you expecting me to clean this room?" he snapped.  
  
"What else are you here for?" Kurama asked innocently.  
  
"I-"Hiei started to say but wasn't able to continue since Kurama started the puppy-dog-face-with-eyes-threatening-to-explode. "Fine..." Hiei said regrettably.  
  
Soon Hiei was downstairs in Kurama's house wearing a duster and a dustpan in one hand and a broom in the other. The dustpan had flowers since it was Shiori's and Hiei had been cleaning for two hours straight.  
  
"Hiei?" Kurama said from upstairs. "Can you help me bring this box down?"  
  
Hiei looked up the stairs and saw Kurama carrying a box full of papers. Hiei sighed and placed the broom and the dustpan at the side. Then he dusted his hands in his hand in his duster. A duster by the way is something like an apron only, it is meant for cleaning. The other duster is the one that dusts dust.  
  
Grudgingly, he went up the stairs and took the box from Kurama.  
  
"Thanks Hiei!" Kurama said, "Phew! That was tough. I never knew that was how many test papers my brother had. Oh well, I better go to my parents room and fix their stuff. You ok, Hiei? I'll be going." then Kurama went to his parents room.  
  
Yes, thanks, Kurama. You don't have to worry. Here I am, standing, carrying a large box and well, maybe my back is broken or my hands will be bloodied. Yeah, I guess you don't have to worry. Hiei thought. Oh man, he thought again, I'm catching ningen sarcasm. Great...  
  
Hiei struggled to get down the stairs one at the time. So far, he only managed one step. Slowly, he struggled another step. It was heavy for the tiny fire youkai. Hiei felt the need to use his youkai energy but then thought the better of it.  
  
Hiei struggled down the stairs slowly his feet neared the next step. He touched it and adjusted both his feet in the next step. Hiei sighed. He still had seven steps to go. Slowly, Hiei started to place his foot on the seventh step.  
  
"Be careful Hiei!" Kurama shouted from his parent's bedroom. Hiei grumbled.  
  
What did Kurama think by saying that I should be careful? Hiei thought, Is he implying that I can't do this fast? That I need to still be careful? Is he implying that I am weak? Grrr, I'll show him...  
  
Hiei walked down the stairs a little faster. It was the sixth step when he started tumbling down.  
  
"Hiei? Are you alright?" Kurama shouted again.  
  
"Hn." Hiei answered, although Kurama couldn't hear him.  
  
"Clean the mess, k?" Kurama shouted.  
  
"Thanks Kurama." Hiei shouted back. "I've got a few broken bones, hand pinned underneath the box, and papers scattered around, head banging with pain. I guess there's nothing to worry about."  
  
Hiei heard Kurama laugh.  
  
"It wasn't a joke Kurama!" Hiei shouted.  
  
"I know." Kurama said.  
  
Grumbling, Hiei fixed the papers. There were thousands scattered around the floor that he worked for soo long. Now it was messy again.  
  
"I'll kill the kitsune for this..." Hiei said to himself.  
  
He gathered up the papers and fixed them. Half an hour later, Hiei finished in placing the papers back to the box.  
  
"Where do I place this Kurama?" Hiei shouted.  
  
"Place it there in the closet!" Kurama shouted.  
  
Grumbling yet again, Hiei lifted the box and placed moved to the closet. Then he opened the door ready to place the box as he adjusted his feet.  
  
BOOM!  
  
Tumbles of papers and hard objects came crashing down on Hiei.  
  
"Oh, yeah, Hiei, there are papers and some heavy stuff in there." Kurama called, "I advise you to be careful."  
  
"Thanks for the early reminder, kistune." Hiei muttered. He rubbed his head.  
  
Three hours later, Hiei looked at his finished product. Hiei sighed. There was still the floor to go...  
  
Two hours later, the floor downstairs was shiny and sparkling clean. Hiei surveyed his handiwork. He sighed again.  
  
At last, it was done. He looked at the clock as Kurama went downstairs carrying an assortment of dustpans, brooms, a pail of very murky water, dusters (the one that dusts dust), and his shirt was very dirty.  
  
"Not one more step, kitsune." Hiei growled. "I've worked with this for more than five hours. Don't dare mess this with your feet if not, my sword will personally see that your feet and hands will never touch your body ever again."  
  
Kurama gulped.  
  
"Er, so... can you help me?" Kurama squeaked from under all the things.  
  
Grumbling, yet again, Hiei helped Kurama and the two of them placed all the cleaning materials in their proper places.  
  
"Hiei," Kurama said as the two of them were fixing the cleaning materials, "I'll be leaving in a minute. It's one pm already. I'll buy the groceries and then we'll eat."  
  
"No need." Hiei said, "I'll be going now."  
  
"No, Hiei," Kurama said, "I insist. While I'm gone, you could just stay here and well, play around or something like that."  
  
"I'll just rest, thank you." Hiei said.  
  
"Fine then." Kurama said as he headed to the door. Hiei followed Kurama to the door. Kurama opened the door, took his jacket to cover the dusts in his shirt. "Bye Hiei." Kurama said as he closed the door.  
  
"Hn." Hiei responded as the door closed. Hiei sighed and sat down the nearest chair. As soon as he relaxed a bit, he looked at his side and there was a small circular table in it. On top of the table were some flowers, a small notebook, ballpens, and the phone.  
  
Hiei stared at the phone. His adrenaline level increased a little but Hiei decided that he had to learn to face his fear for the telephone.  
  
R-RRRRRRRIIIIIINNNGG!  
  
Hiei nearly bolted from his seat. Then he looked at the phone that was ringing. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had an insane thought that the phone was going to eat him alive.  
  
"H-hello?" Hiei said as he placed the handset in his ear.  
  
"Hello?" came a guy's voice, "Can I be your friend?"  
  
"What?" Hiei said.  
  
(Do you know those people who just calls to say 'Can I be your friend' over the phone? And they really mean it? That was what was happening)  
  
"Baka." Hiei said as he placed the handset down.  
  
Hiei looked around. Soon, he became vaguely aware of tiny noises. Buzzing... Buzzing... Buzzing...  
  
Yup, Hiei was bored. Before Hiei could reach total vegetation, which is the state where you act like a slumped vegetable and not respond to anything, he reached out for his sword and began cleaning it with the rag he had.  
  
When he heard little noises like the buzzing... buzzing... buzzing... Hiei decided that it was high time to look at the clock. His face fell. Only five minutes passed. Hiei sighed.  
  
Then, when hearing the buzzing...buzzing...buzzing... he decided that he better face the terrible and deadly beast called the telephone.  
  
Hiei gulped.  
  
With a shaking hand, he reached the telephone in his ear. It was cold and dark. He could hear the beep.. beep.. beep of the phone. His hand was shaking that the cold handset in his ear kept moving.  
  
Stop moving you baka hand, Hiei said as he scolded his trembling hand. Now, to dial the numbers...  
  
With a his other hand which was trembling worse than the other, he dialed one number...  
  
Then another...  
  
and another...  
  
and another...  
  
Soon, he dialed all necessary numbers.  
  
RING! RING! RRING!  
  
Hiei waited. And waited.  
  
"Hello?" came a girl's voice.  
  
"U-um, h-hello?" Hiei said. He wondered why his lips kept stammering over the phone. He was completely aware that both his hands plus the handset were shaking very badly. Somehow, he felt like he couldn't hear very well.  
  
"Sorry, I can't hear you..." the girl said.  
  
"I...um..." Hiei said. He wanted to place a practical joke but the words were not coming out right.  
  
"Is this a prank call?" the girl said.  
  
"I...um..." Hiei said. Then he said the next thing that entered his mind. "Um, can... I be your... f-f..friend...?" he said.  
  
"Sorry. Can't" the girl said. "My older brother's gonna kill me for this."  
  
"For what?" Hiei asked.  
  
"For talking over the phone and just befriending people around." she said, "Sorry, I just can't"  
  
"Oh." Hiei said.  
  
"So, um..." the girl said.  
  
"So..." Hiei said.  
  
"Well, I guess I have to go." she said.  
  
"Oh, yeah, right." Hiei said.  
  
"Um, ok, bye." she said.  
  
"Yeah, bye." Hiei said.  
  
Then before Hiei could say another um, well, duh, cause, and the girl brought the phone down. (No, not slam)  
  
Hiei brought the handset down. Then he slumped to the chair thinking of what just happened.  
  
Tick tock tick tock tick tock  
  
Time was passing by and Hiei was getting real bored. He decided to take a call in the phone. He played 'useless' and not really practical jokes but he thought they were true practical jokes. Then he placed the phone down and began thinking again. After a few more minutes, the door opened again and this time Kurama went in carrying bags of groceries. Hiei sighed and helped Kurama with the grocery bags. Then, he watched Kurama mindlessly as Kurama cooked some soup.  
  
"Geez, Hiei, are you alright?" Kurama said as Hiei missed the spoonful of soup in his mouth for the tenth time, "Cause if your not alright, I might try to get the bib in case your shirt might stain."  
  
"Mfgg..." Hiei said as he shoved all the food in his mouth. Now, pieces of vegetables were stuck out of his mouth and some soup was bubbling out.  
  
Kurama shook his head from pity, took the bib, and placed it around Hiei's neck. Then he patted Hiei in the head and said, "You should get some sleep."  
  
"Mfg..." Hiei said as the some pieces of vegetable came sputting out with little soup bubbling out. Good thing the bib was there if not, Hiei's shirt might be dirty.  
  
Kurama shook his head again, sat back in his chair, and began eating his soup. Hiei stared at the soup. "Um, Kurama?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Yeah?" Kurama said.  
  
"C-can I use the telephrony?" Hiei asked.  
  
"The what?" Kurama said.  
  
"The telephrony." Hiei said.  
  
"Oh," Kurama said grinning, "Yeah, of course, the telephrony."  
  
"So... can I?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll just go up and sleep. Just leave your bowl in the sink." Kurama said after he placed his bowl in the sink and headed in up the stairs.  
  
Hiei nodded and headed towards the telephone. He looked at it and considerately, he remembered the first number he dialed that day.  
  
RING! RING! RING!  
  
Hiei tapped his feet to show impatience. What takes this stupid thing to work? Hiei thought, Telepathy calls and all the other person has to do is to answer them...  
  
Hiei waited and waited but no one answered the telephone.  
  
Suddenly, Kurama peeked from down the stairs, "Uh, Hiei, why did you want to use the telephone?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Hn?" Hiei said looking at Kurama as emotionlessly as possible but deep inside his brain, little tiny Hiei's were searching in every drawer in his brain for the right answer to give to Kurama, "I was merely trying to master this curious object." Hiei said. Kurama looked at Hiei confused then he decided to buy it. Hiei looked at the phone again.  
  
Ok...he said, Time to dial again...  
  
After ten more tries...  
  
"Hello?" came the girl's voice again.  
  
"Oh, um, hi." Hiei said.  
  
"Who is this?" she asked.  
  
"Um, Hiei." he said.  
  
"Do I know you?" she asked.  
  
"No I don't think so, do you?" Hiei asked. He was running out of things to say.  
  
"Oh." the girl said. There was a minute silence when Hiei heard someone at the back, a guy's voice.  
  
"Hey! Theresa! Who's that? Who are you talking to?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, um, I don't know." she said truthfully.  
  
"What?" Hiei said.  
  
"Oh, sorry, um, that was my brother." Theresa said.  
  
"Theresa! Whose that?!" the guy shouted.  
  
"Theresa?" Hiei said as he repeated the girl's name.  
  
"What? What?" the girl said confused as she answered her brother then she answered Hiei.  
  
"Theresa!" the guy said.  
  
"Yeah! Wait!" Theresa said.  
  
"Ok." Hiei said willing to wait.  
  
"No! Not you!" Theresa said to Hiei, "I meant, oh great, how do I deal with this?"  
  
"Theresa!" the guy said again. "Will you just fix your stuff here!"  
  
"He's your boyfriend?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Yes." Theresa said, "I mean, no! No!"  
  
"What do you mean no?" the guy said, "You have to fix your stuff!"  
  
"Oh, so he's your boyfriend." Hiei said.  
  
"No! Wait!" Theresa said confused. "No! Oh great..."  
  
"Theresa!" the guy shouted again.  
  
"Can you wait?" Theresa said.  
  
"Yeah, ok." Hiei said.  
  
"No! Not you! Not you!" Theresa said and she was obviously confused.  
  
"Ok." Hiei said.  
  
"Theresa!" the guy shouted again.  
  
"Big Bro! Just wait!" she said to her brother.  
  
"Oh, so he's your brother?" Hiei said, "I thought he was your boyfriend?"  
  
"Huh? What?" Theresa said. "No wait, he's my brother and he's telling me to fix my stuff."  
  
"I thought he was your boyfriend?" Hiei said.  
  
"Him? No, he's my brother." she explained.  
  
"Theresa! Are you coming or not?" the guy shouted.  
  
"Coming!" she said, "Um, it's Hiei isn't it?" she said to Hiei.  
  
"Yes." Hiei said, "Your Theresa right?"  
  
"Yeah. Or Therese or whatever." she said.  
  
"Your name's Whatever?" Hiei asked confused at the fact someone had a name like Whatever.  
  
"No! Wait!" she said  
  
"Ok, Whatever." Hiei said sincerely, "Nice talking to you."  
  
"Huh?" Therese said. "Wait! No! Hiei! Wait!"  
  
"Sis! C'mon! Or are you talking to your boyfriend?" the guy shouted.  
  
"Oh, arg! This is hard." Therese said. Then to Hiei, "Ok, fine, call me or I'll call you?" she asked.  
  
"I'll call you." Hiei said.  
  
"Um, ok." she said. "Uh, bye."  
  
"Bye." Hiei said.  
  
Silence.  
  
"You bring the phone down first." Therese said.  
  
"No, you do it." Hiei said.  
  
"No, you bring it down." she said.  
  
"No, it's custom to a friend of mine that ladies should be given complete respect." Hiei said referring to the 'friend' as Kuwabara, "I wouldn't want to be disgraced in front of him."  
  
"I'm not a lady!" she said, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."  
  
"Women must be first." Hiei said.  
  
"I told you, I'm not a girl, not yet a woman!" she defended.  
  
"Ok then, baby." Hiei said.  
  
"Baby?" she said, "Me? Do I go 'goo goo ga ga?'"  
  
"Fine, just go ahead, Whatever." Hiei said.  
  
"Fine."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Go ahead!" Hiei said but not shouting.  
  
"You first!" she said.  
  
"No, please, you." Hiei said.  
  
"This is getting nowhere..." she said.  
  
"Together." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok, fine." she said.  
  
"On the count of one hundred." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok!" she said.  
  
"One." Hiei said.  
  
"Two." she said.  
  
"Three." Hiei said.  
  
"Four." She said.  
  
"Five." Hiei said.  
  
"Six." she said.  
  
"Seven." Hiei said.  
  
"Eight." she said.  
  
"Nine." Hiei said.  
  
"Ten." she said.  
  
"Theresa! Your things!" the guy shouted from the background.  
  
"Just give me ninety seconds!" Theresa shouted to her brother.  
  
"Eleven." Hiei said.  
  
"Twelve." she said.  
  
"Thirteen." Hiei said.  
  
"Fourteen." she said.  
  
"Fifteen." Hiei said.  
  
"Seventeen." she said.  
  
"Hey, you missed sixteen." Hiei said.  
  
"Oh yeah." she said, "Um do we start again?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess that would be better." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok." she said, "One."  
  
"Two." Hiei said.  
  
"Three." she said.  
  
"Four." Hiei said.  
  
"Five." she said.  
  
"Six." Hiei said.  
  
"Seven." she said.  
  
"Eight." Hiei said.  
  
"Nine." she said.  
  
Ten." Hiei said.  
  
"Eleven." she said.  
  
"Hey sis! It's ninety seconds already!" the guy said.  
  
"Um big bro? What's 100 minus eleven?" she asked.  
  
"Eighty-nine!" the guy said. There was a groan, "Are you telling me to count for eighty nine more seconds?" he shouted back.  
  
"Yes bro."  
  
"Great." the guy said.  
  
"Twelve." Hiei said.  
  
"Thirteen." She said.  
  
"Fourteen." Hiei said.  
  
"Fifteen." she said.  
  
"Seventeen" Hiei said.  
  
"Hey! We missed sixteen again!" she said.  
  
"One." Hiei said.  
  
"Two." she said.  
  
"Three." Hiei said.  
  
After ninety-two more seconds...  
  
"Ninety-six." she said.  
  
"Ninety-seven." Hiei said.  
  
"Ninety-nine." she said.  
  
"Hey, you missed ninety-eight." Hiei said.  
  
(Authoress hears groans from readers.)  
  
"One." she said.  
  
"Two." Hiei said.  
  
"Three." she said.  
  
"Four." Hiei said.  
  
"Five." she said.  
  
"Six." Hiei said.  
  
"Sis! It's eighty-nine seconds!" the guy said, "No, wait, I'm not asking how many seconds more to go..."  
  
"Seven." she said.  
  
"Eight." Hiei said.  
  
"Nine." she said.  
  
"Ten." Hiei said.  
  
"Eleven." she said.  
  
"Twelve." Hiei said.  
  
"I have an idea." Hiei said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Instead of counting one to one-hundred, why not count from just one to three?" Hiei suggested.  
  
"Oh yeah!" she said, "Why didn't we think of that?"  
  
"Ok, on three, we say it together and bring the this down." Hiei said.  
  
"Ok." she said.  
  
"One." Hiei said.  
  
"Two." she said.  
  
"THREE!" the two of them said and brought the phone down but not slamming it.  
  
(Authoress hears murmurs of the words 'At last...')  
  
"Hiei, who was that?" Kurama asked.  
  
"It was Whatever." Hiei said as he sat down the table, took off the bib, and began placing mounds of rice and meat on his plate and began eating...  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::  
  
Ok, how was it? Did you love it? Review! All you have to do is click down there! The one beside the chapter! K? K.  
  
Yukina-kun: I'll stop writing in ten seconds...  
  
Readers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Readers start running away and hiding in the review place and writes review.  
  
Yukina-kun grins. 


End file.
